Hi guys.
Today, we're going to be talking about some specific strategies that we can apply when we find ourselves in the state of fight in our nervous system.
This is when we feel:
Annoyed
Irritated
Angry
Frustrated
And oftentimes when we're in this state, you’ll notice, you kind of feel this way about everything.
Like the other day, I was feeling this way and it was like:
I'm annoyed with the dog. I'm annoyed with the person driving too slow. I'm annoyed with that email that was kind of rude.
We just feel irritated by all things, because our nervous system state is directing the experiences we're having.
Getting familiar with the nervous system ladder
A few weeks back, we started at the bottom of the nervous system ladder and really got into what it feels like to be in shutdown, dissociated, in that disconnection state. We then talked through what it feels like to be in the fawn state where we’re people pleasing, masking and self-abandoning.
As we begin to support ourselves in these states and move up the nervous system ladder we’ll move into the next rung, which is fight or flight.
It’s important we get more familiar with our bodies, sensations and the state of the nervous system we're in, so that we can appropriately support ourselves.
Because if we're down in shutdown, we're going to need different strategies than if we're in fight or flight.
For example, when we're in fight, we want to do things that are going to release that trapped adrenaline and cortisol that's stuck in our body.
So we're NOT going to want to do things like:
Meditate
Or get a massage
Or things that are going to suppress the feelings rather than provide an opportunity to discharge the feelings.
Sometimes, entering a new state can feel… confusing
When I started to thaw out of functional freeze and move up the nervous system ladder into fight or flight, I was confused.
I went from being shut down and feeling numb… to having all these feelings including anger. I suddenly was very mad about a lot of things in my life.
And it wasn't until, my mentor and coach, Brit Piper, explained to me that this was a good thing. That I was literally starting to feel some of these suppressed emotions that were in my body, that I was disconnecting from.
All of a sudden I realized all of these ways my boundaries were being crossed and then I started feeling healthy, appropriate anger about that.
And all of these suppressed emotions were making me physically sick.
As I started to move up the nervous system ladder, some of my gut issues arose again. I've had different auto-immune stuff, honestly, since I was four off and on that I know comes from suppressed emotions.
So I want you to know it's normal, if as you're doing the work, you realize you're starting to feel more angry or be more in touch with these emotions that aren't always comfortable.
It's actually a good sign.
It means you're thawing out, your coming online, you're creating more flexibility to be with all of this, and it means you're moving in the right direction…. even though it might be uncomfortable and not feel that way.
And that’s the reason we're developing these tools within ourselves- so we can create this greater window of capacity to be with these things.
So we can fluidly move in and out of these states because in a regulated, healthy, nervous system, we're moving in and out of these states multiple times a day.
Why we find ourselves in the fight state
This can happen for a number of reasons:
Maybe you've been stuck in that bottom state of fawn or freeze or shut down and you're starting to come online.
It can also originate from growing up in environments where anger was used against us, punished, or seen as bad.
And so we learned to suppress it in order to stay safe.
Or perhaps healthy anger or healthy boundaries weren't modeled and so we didn't strengthen that skill on how to express or advocate our needs or use our voice in healthy ways.
And so that's why I'm just so passionate about supporting you guys and better understanding how to utilize these tools.
Because you go to the gym for your physical body, and these tools are like going to the gym for your nervous system. Literally creating more strength and capacity to hold what's within us that maybe we're disconnected from.
4 Self-Regulation Techniques for When You’re in the Fight State
The best way to approach this is with so much self compassion and curiosity and with the right tools to process these sensations in a slow titrated way.
When we're feeling activated in the state of fight, we're going to want to do things that move towards that activation and allows us to release those survival hormones that are going on in our body.
Clenched Jaw
We can carry a lot of anger and aggression in our jaw, especially when we have a suppressed fight response. And so this is going to be a healthy way to slowly release some of that anger.
Air Scream
The Air Scream is one of my favorites because other programs have taught me how to discharge anger by using these really aggressive strategies, like screaming as loud as you can or hitting a pillow as hard as you can. And sometimes those things can actually be overwhelming to the nervous system. The way we truly process and discharge that anger within our body is by doing it in slow titrated steps and so this is a modification that I have found to be really effective.
Clenched Fists
This is a great one to discharge some of that adrenaline and cortisol by showing your body what anger feels like and then bringing your body back to that safe grounded feeling. It creates a window to be with the experience in the body which is what allows this fluidity and ease within the nervous system to ride the waves that ultimately, are inevitable.
Wall Pushes
This is a way of building the capacity to be with our anger because we're pendulating back and forth between finding safety and being with the feelings of frustration and anger in our bodies. The more we can go back and forth in this way, the more we build this capacity within our nervous system to be with these things that are uncomfortable.
I'm here for you.
Drop me a note, I'd love to hear if you relate to this at all? And if you're liking any of these techniques, drop them in the comments.
I really, really would love to hear from you guys.
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