[QUIZ] Which Self-Regulation Technique do you need right now?

Hi guys.

I have been working on something for you that I think you're really going to love.

As you know, I've been talking a lot about the nervous system lately and how it's at the root of creating the lives that we desire as ADHD women.

Because as many of you probably know:

• We're more highly sensitive.

• Our nervous systems are more attuned to our environments and our surroundings.

• And often we have complex trauma and we've got places that we tend to get stuck in our nervous system.

We just need a little more TLC when it comes to our nervous systems…

And what I've personally discovered is that…

When we learn how to befriend our nervous systems

• To understand what's going on within our body

• To relate to these sensations with compassion and curiosity

• And then with education, as far as what tools we can apply to meet ourselves in these states.

It is very empowering.

It builds our confidence.

And allows us to show up in our relationships with ourself, friends, partners and kids, in entirely different ways… that we feel really good about.

Just today I was feeling very dysregulated and overwhelmed….

You know how it is. When your to-do list gets too long or you get really excited about something and there's too many things on the list. That’s when I can get very overwhelmed and then feel dysregulated because, it's too much.

And then I feel stuck and the shame spiral starts.

The difference that I've experienced since understanding my nervous system is now I can:

1. Take a pause and step back from that experience.

2. Get curious about the sensations in my body.

3. And now that I have this deeper understanding of my nervous system. I can pull out the right tool that I need to bring myself back to safety.

So today, I knew I was just going to continue spinning….

And continue procrastinating if I didn't meet myself where I was at.

I was in a state of fight or flight. So I just:

1. Stopped what I was doing.

2. I went outside and took a walk.

3. And I did a few of my self-regulation strategies so I could find safety in my body.

I could literally feel just my nervous system, moving up the ladder into that ventral state of rest and digest and safety.

I could see the things that I needed to do now and I came home and I sat down and I did my work.

A Quiz to Help YOU Find the Self-Regulation Technique YOU need right now

It's practices like these, that I'm still bumping into on the daily.

The difference just is I now have the tools to meet myself there. And to bring myself out of it.

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This is what I want to share with you guys, because it's so empowering.

Whether it's:

• Trying to move through procrastination

• or perfectionism

• or overwhelm

• or if it's trying to show up differently and not be in that state of fight when your kid has big feelings and it dysregulates you

You need space to show up for yourself so you can show up for them and co-regulate together in a way you feel good about.

It really is the foundation for all the things you guys.

So I'm very excited about this quiz.

It's literally three questions. It will take you all of a minute to answer.

• And it will tell you what state of your nervous system you're predominantly in.

• And a specific self-regulation strategy that would support you best in your current state.

  • So that you can bring yourself back to feeling safe and grounded in your body.

And it's something you can take multiple times because our nervous system goes in and out of these states of: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn…. multiple times a day.

So the state you're in this morning is going to be different than the state you're in tonight.

I wanted to create something that was really accessible.

And I'm telling you guys, firsthand, this work has made such a huge difference in my life.

We've come to this space of neurodiversity for so long with needing to “fix people” and particularly needing to “fix our kids.”

And what I've really discovered in the work that I've done both as an educator and a mother doing research in the field is that:

When we come back to the mother as the root and can heal her and her experience and her relationship with her nervous system…. We then automatically heal the kid.

And we get to hold space for our children in these new ways of compassion and curiosity and understanding, and co-regulation that literally changes people's lives.

I was talking to my friend the other day, who has been applying these emotional regulation strategies to her life and creating toolkits for her kids.

And she was telling me what a huge impact it’s made on her family.

She asked me something really interesting:

“Do you think that when we start to teach our kids, these things at a young age, are they going to struggle in adulthood, like we do?”

And it's such an interesting thing to think about, right?

• Because it's like we have these tools so that our kids can apply them in situations now to show up differently.

• But they can also use them to practice when they're not dysregulated, which increases their capacity to be with difficult things.

So if we're raising a generation of kids that are self-aware enough to understand the emotions they're feeling. And then have access to tools to meet themselves in healthy ways to express those emotions. It's going to create such a different generation of adults. Right?

Because most of us in our generation- were not given these things…. because our parents weren't given these tools.

That's why so many of us have suppressed and feel:

• depressed

• or anxious

• or overwhelmed

and struggle with staying stuck in these survival states in our nervous system… because we didn't have the healthy tools to express.

We didn't have the understanding

• or the safety and co-regulation available to release what we were feeling

• to express what we were feeling

• and to have that be safe.

And so doing this for ourselves and then doing this with our children alongside us, is truly cycle shifting at its finest.

And that's why I think this work is so incredibly powerful.

It's foundational to many other strategies we'll explore later in the Reframing Neurodiversity course, which is for ADHD moms who want to show up for themselves so they can show up for their kids in new ways.

But to get started now…

this quiz and these tools are available for yourself and your kids, as an easy first step to begin shifting cycles within our families that have been passed down unconsciously, unintentionally, and generationally. So if you're looking for an opportunity to shift things in your life and in the lives of those you love this quiz is for you! Drop me a note and let me know what you think!