Welcome to the Neurodiversity Advocate!
A safe space where ADHD moms learn to self-regulate and reparent themselves in community.
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What you can expect from this Substack Community
Being a mom with ADHD can feel challenging, but learning to support yourself makes it easier. I'm here to help you with exactly that. So many women are discovering their neurodivergence later in life. And when you're a mom, this can be a lot to dive into, tease apart, and support yourself in while you're supporting so many other people who are dependent upon you. (I know you're holding a LOT!)
In this space, I shine a light on that experience and recognize that it's real and can be challenging while ALSO sharing how you can make it easier.
One of those foundational pieces is creating a sense of community.
The other key pieces are:
Learning how to navigate ADHD as an adult so that you can show up for yourself and your kids in ways you feel proud of and creates a stronger sense of connection in your relationship with yourself and others.
Creating safety in your nervous system through education and self-regulation strategies so that you can heal your symptoms from the inside out and start building lasting improvements in your life.
Creating safety within your nervous system is a huge focus of this community because our nervous system is at the root of our feelings and thoughts and how we take action in our lives.
I know as ADHDers, we have more highly sensitive nervous systems, and when the stresses and demands increase, we become more symptomatic (i.e., more overwhelmed, shut down, paralyzed, increased procrastination, perfectionistic tendencies, self-doubt, shame, rumination, negative thought loops, to name a few).
Not feeling safe in your nervous system can look like this:
Stuck in flight- hiding, feeling unsafe to show your true self, so you mask maybe by people pleasing or avoiding
Stuck in fight- being more reactive and snappy than you feel good about, everything feels irritating or annoying
Shutdown, feeling frozen, too overwhelmed to take action
Dissociating- you’re on autopilot going through the motions, but mentally and emotionally, you’re checked out
Safety comes from co-regulation with other adults who feel safe, who get it, speak your language, and are compassionate about what you're going through. The actions we take when we feel seen, valued, connected, and have a sense of belonging with others who are walking a similar path are life-changing.
That's why this community we're building is so powerful. Because it's not just a space for you to feel seen and validated. It's a space for you to heal your nervous system and transform the way you show up in your daily life.
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Hi, I'm Melissa!
I have been there. Before I knew how to work with my highly sensitive nervous system my ADHD symptoms were extreme. I felt exhausted, overwhelmed, reactive and like balancing the demands of motherhood was a daunting task. This experience led to feelings of shame and guilt as I deeply desired to feel differently, to show up differently, and to be a better role model for my kids.
I was always second-guessing myself because I struggled with people-pleasing, which led to an internal battle within me. I was constantly questioning if I made the right choice or if I made others happy, or if they approved of me and my choices. To be honest, I rarely honored myself because it felt unsafe in my body to disappoint people. As a result, I developed multiple autoimmune conditions, from alopecia to rheumatoid arthritis to IBS and SIBO.
I was a chronic self-abandoner and consequentially suffered emotionally, mentally, and physically. With extreme anxiety and periods of depression, I grappled with how to feel good in my mind and body for years.
It wasn’t until I discovered that my nervous system dysregulation was at the root of my suffering, and even deeper than that was the unhealed trauma that kept me stuck in these survival states within my nervous system.
As I began to get to the root of my trauma and started befriending and healing my nervous system, my ADHD symptoms, such as procrastination, perfectionism, and people-pleasing, began to improve.
AND as I started to find safety within my body and more compassion for myself, it became easier for me to show up for my kids with more self-regulation, curiosity, and compassion.
I now help women with ADHD get to the root of their suffering so they can begin healing and minimizing their ADHD symptoms. Through this process, we begin addressing stuck trauma and shifting generational cycles so that a new way may be passed down to their children. It is my belief that mothers are the root. When we heal the mom, we heal the kid.
Join Our Paid Community for ADHD Moms
What you will receive for just $11/month is:
Guided Self-Regulation Strategies that specifically target your nervous system state (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) + a system to figure out where you’re at in your system at any time and support you in meeting yourself there.
Unfiltered and exclusive shares from me where I’m letting you in on how to navigate more self-acceptance + ways to feel safe in thriving more authentically in your life!
You'll have the option to partake in the comments and chat- asking me questions and connecting with others walking this path. This connection will not only help you co-regulate, but also, taking action in a safe space to be seen will build your nervous system's capacity to share yourself more openly with others, which will support your healing and build your self-confidence.
You can access the archive of resources at your own pace or at whatever time works best for you so that you can dive into the tools you need at the exact time you need them.
You can be as involved or passive in the community experience as feels right for you and calms your nervous system. This may change with time as you implement the resources, and your window of tolerance to be seen increases.
You will receive a safe space to be gently supported in getting to know your nervous system, what it needs to feel safe, and a library of resources to help you do exactly that. Plus, the opportunity to be seen, to share, coregulate, and feel less alone in your journey!
It's time for you to stop feeling limited by ADHD in your motherhood experience. I can't wait to get to know you!
